Rules and Exceptions

From now on, I dont check my phone. I'm not one of those girls anymore. I rave about independence but I dont truly know from experience what true independence is. Why in God's name do I torture myself? All the time? Guys are really overrated. Girls are just insane. They don't quite balance each other out, and I would love to say they do, but I dont think they do. I'm sick of cliches, you know? Everyone wants a happy ending, but we never quite trust ourselves with what we have. I dont believe ALL guys are made of crap. I think there are genuine ones out there. Then there are the ones who give you lines, and make you feel special. Those are the ones to watch out for. As we can see in He's Just Not That Into You.....the adoring husband turns out to be an asshole....the hopeless romantic ends up being chased and everything works well. Wake up call....everything the media tells us and movies and everything. Stories! That stuff isnt real. Its the exceptions....but what are the rules? I wish that there was like....some way to make everything go away. Everything real. Whatever "real" is today....whether it's Brett Micheals hooking up with a random chick he knows for three minutes on MTV, or whether its hooking up in the hallway with ur best friend of the opposite sex for three hours until the security guard cuts you off and makes you leave the building. Whatever "real" is. I want it to disappear. Just so i could know what isnt real. And be able to tell the difference. I'm sick of cliches. I'm not gonna wait around for someone to call me. Someone.....anyone......im independent. And no matter what some movie says or how some fairytale turns out. Life isnt like that. Unless.....ur an exception to the rule? I'm so confused......in some ways, I know I'm better than that. Better than what I'd been keeping up. Better than this. Better than this whiny little princess who got her parade ruined on. But. she was just enjoying her parade. It doesnt make sense to me. And obviously not to you, the reader, cause you have no idea just how complex the thought process in my brain really is. You have no idea what I'm really even talking about. It's really a beautiful thing when you thinka bout it. And then....its not so beautiful....cuz its like im in a little room all by myself and no matter how much you scream, no one here's you.