Maybe were too young and I dont even know whats real...

I was in the car with my mom before, listening to 38 Special. And I'm thinking, this dude makes total fucking sense. This guy is telling the object of his affection that he loves her, more or less. And so I'm sitting there thinking about what I want in boyfriend. Its gonna sound like a lot, but maybe one day itll happen. I mean, who knows right? Okay. I just want somebody to love me, completely. Somebody I make go weak at the knees, and yet is totally strong enough for me to fall on on those days when I just need to fall. He has to be there without being there ALL the time. He just has to be the kinda guy, giving me the kinda feelings people, including myself, sing about. He doesnt have to be perfect, he just has to be my kind of awesome. Also, I think it depends on when you meet someone that dictates what kinda awesome they are to you. You have to be ready and they have to be ready. Why the fuck am I thinking about this now?

You shouldve said no baby...Now everybody knows....

Def Leppard is amazingness. And I feel like I've overcome true hurtles today. Shyness. Fear itself. Myself. Making an idiot of said self. Keeping cool. Not letting stupid things bother me. Stuff that doesnt matter. And letting myself take credit for something that i worked really hard for. Today was a lot of fun. You want a girlfriend but you dont want strings.

End It All...

Well 75, its been fun. But I'm out. I'm done. I want to forget. I want to forgive. I want to move on like I'm really okay. I want new adventures. With new people. I want to get a chance to start over where nobody knows everything about me. And if Tech can give me all that. I guess its fine. Its only highschool honey. I don't understand the point of living like your afraid to die. Cause the funny thing about this life, is no one ever makes it out alive anyway. So whats the point of being afraid? Whats the harm in laughing it off, forgiving and forgetting, touching the fire again only to get burned. Twice. Who cares if so and so thinks your nuts. Yes. Because coming from them it means something. No. It doesnt. I'm so sick of the bullshit. Oh. By the way. Today was amazing. I need to sing. I need to do concerts, arenas, i'm dreaming of sold out shows on a faraway coast. I wanna sing. I wanna sing. I have a voice for a reason. As long as I believe then, anything is possible and I wanna sing. I wanna let things go from the way that my mind is completely empty when i'm there. and people like it. They dont mind it. They enjoy it. So why should I end it all?