Yeah I talk shit just deal with it

Last night I couldn't sleep at like 3 a.m. so I read a book. And in this book, a guy is having a party and invites his girlfriend, who is quite like me actually, and so not a party girl. However, she thinks this is what her boyfriend wants and therefore, drinks a beer and dances with one of her guy friends in a um.....suggestive way. A bunch of non-important events happened then, thus leading the girl to go to his dorm, and tell him she was sorry for acting like an idiot at his party. He explains that he never wanted a party girl, only her. Which I thought was very sweet and I actually cried over this book too. It was important for me that they stayed together. That's a mature relationship. I actually hugged the book for awhile after I read it, just to let it soak in.
Now my knee really hurts for some reason and there is no way I can ride my bike. School tomorrow =(

Everytime I see you it gets more and more intense....

Note to all teenage girls: Grandfathers bringing up people in your age group posing nude online is a topic you furiously want to avoid. Trust me. It's weird. Especially when you add the fact that you know someone that did it. So yeah, awkward conversation cause he apparently "worries" about me. The right people never worry about me and the wrong people always do lol. Anyway, hope everyone had a happy Easter or Passover or whatever anyone else celebrates lol. I wanna do something today. I have had my dose of crazy for awhile though. And by the way, to all of the people who still think women have no place in rock, I'd like to point out one thing. The 80's. Okay? Follow me here. Poison, Crue, Kiss, need I go on? What do they look like? WOMEN. The 80's look was inspired by women, and the music was about fucking them and getting high with them. Lol. That's all I have to say. Bye.

Did I mention my hair's pink?

Wow. I feel like thirty years has past in the last three days. I have magenta hair now. By the way. Lol. Vrai did it (cuz shes awesome like that) lol. And I feel a lot better about a lot of things. I'm realizing now that I don't need someone to ask me if I'm okay to know that I am or am not okay. And that as much as I would love someone for two seconds to atleast humor me and make sure I am in fact okay, I don't need someone to do it. That's a good feeling. Cause you know what, there are people in the world that do need that. I'll talk more tomorrow, I'm watching a thing on VH1 about women of the sunset strip and how important they were to developing hair metal. So expect some male-bashing comments tomorrow lol. Later.

One (New Song)

You're stuck in my head, like a song that I can't get out
(woah, woah, woah, woah, woah)
I can say over and over that I'm fine but I'm sure are doubts
(woah, woah, woah, woah,woah)

C-Cause the one that you want
And the one you can't ahve are one and the same
And you know it, you KNOW it
Its ripping up your head, tearing up your heart
And your breaking down,
BREAKING DOWN,
you're torn again
Cause there is only one

I feel that without I might break
(woah, woah,woah,woah,woah)
But being with you baby, is so much more than I can take
(woah,woah,woah,woah,woah)
There's a pretty thin line
Between love and hate
And I'm crossing
At too fast a rate
Going outta control
Youre taking youre toll
They always said this would happen to me

C-Cause the one that you want
And the one you can't have
Are one and the same
And you know it
you KNOW it
It's ripping up your head, tearing up your heart,
And youre breaking down
BREAKING DOWN
You're torn again
Cause there is only one

You're
Riding the line
Skies are falling down
You're laying on the floor
Your love was once so pure
Now it can't be found
And you doubt it's very existence

C- Cause the one that you want
And the one you can't have
Are ONE AND THE SAME
And you know it
KNOW IT KNOW IT
It's ripping up your head, tearing up your heart and
Your breaking
BREAKING
BREAKING
DOWN
Cause there is only one...

I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well.

Alright then. I'm proud of myself. I feel good almost. Day 1 of spring break and it's starting off nicely I think. Last night I said somethings that I probably shouldn't. I don't understand why I can't leave things in my head. But it's okay. This person had a somewhat common belief on the subject and it went over decently, but still. I mean, those things needed to be said I guess. I mean, I wanted to say them, but I know I never will actually SAY them. Listening to Panama again. I love the bridge part. I'm not really the biggest fan, the lyrics are rather sexual but, I love how the guitar goes at this part. I bit my nail. And it was so not my fault. Ok. It was. But still. I was driven. Got to go, wanna go sing.

Awesome song lyrics-- to be continued

1) I'm giving up on love, cause loves giving up on me. --Kerosene, Miranda Lambert.
2) I bet you think this song is about you. --You're So Vain, Carly Simon
3) And the cops chased us again. --All Again For You, We The Kings
4) Now that it's coming clear, I don't need you here. --Gone Forever, Three Days Grace
5) Like a bat outta hell I'll be gone when the moening comes. --Bat Outta Hell, Meatloaf
6) Falling in love is so hard on the knees. --Fallin in love, Aerosmith
7) I sold my soul for a one night stand. --Sunshine, Aerosmith
8) We are fire inside, we are lipstick and cleats. Here's to the girls whose fingerls bleed from playing guitar. --Anthem, Superchick.
9)I'm going home gonna load my shotgun, wait by the door and light a cigarette, he wants a fight well now he's got one, and he ain't seen me crazy yet. He slapped my face and shook me like a ragdoll. Don't that sound like a real man? I'ma show him what little girls are made of, gunpowder and lead. --Gunpowder and Lead, Miranda Lambert
10) They'll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear I do, and theyll be together forever until they find somebody new. --Dearly Beloved, Faith Hill
11) One bourbon, one scotch, one beer. --One bourbon, one scotch, one beer, Jimmy Witherspoon
12)Nice day for a white wedding. --White Wedding, Billy Idol.
13) Don't go away mad, just go away. --Go Away Mad, Motley Crue

You know I got it. So come and get it.

Wow. My back is in like enormous pain. And spit is officially the second best game, (next to poker), and yay band practice tmr!

I'm all tangled up...I can't help myself.

You know what? Why is this important? It's important because as a matter of fact, I care. And you know what else? I like these "ridiculous" earrings. Go stratch your ass mf. Now I forget what I was coming on here to say. Thans a lot.

Anger.

Anger is some thing you get from blaiming other people. You blame them for your frustration. For the emptiness you feel. For your tears. I hate DOING THIS. Other people DO NOT live like this. In the twenty minutes my mom and brother had a screaming match over studying, they could have studied everything together. It sucks. But I know that other people do not live like this. I'm deleting this the very second I get home tomorrow. I'm doing so good. I'm happy. But I'm not mad. I'm not mad at them. I'm just scared. Of what this means. Of what eveyrthing means. Anger is not something spreadable. You bring it on yourself by blaming other people.

Don't blink cause I won't be around...

I just did possibly the second best graffiti I've ever done in my life. Working on a new song, with a new concept, and a new style of writing. It's cool. I'll kepp posting on how it's working out. Um. What else? I've eaten enough cookie dough, for like....five people. And...tweaked my cookie recipe a tiny bit. I feel....reinvented. I guess. But I'm not really. Lol, I'm like that Christina Aguilera album, "Back To The Basics." Lmao. Don't know where that came from. I'm actually listening to Toby Keith right now. Some of his early stuff. I miss that stuff. My musical horizons are very much expanded, but sometimes, you just gotta stick to your first love. So wonderfully happy cause guess what? Tomorrow is friday, and that means singing lessons! Yay! I can't wait. And you know...the weekends always nice lol. I have to think of something crazy to do this weekend. Something inane. Don't ask me why, but mostly when I think of crazy I think of like....dying my hair or something. So I'm thinking, I call in reinforcements, head to the mall, go see Kae and tell her to surprise my mom. Like, suprise her, like, when she comes to get me I'm a platinim blonde. Okay no...not blonde. I look enough like a soccer mom with a long "Posh-Spice" thing going on....But you know what I'm talking about. I'm bored. Bored with myself. And...that's no fun lol. Also...I'm trying to work out a first practice this weekend....trying to think how it could work. Vrai I don't think could make it, but me, Jay, and Aimez could work something out. I hope. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La.

Don't let me stop you...

Like....hi. How are you? I'm fine thanks. Thats an awesome conversation. Right? Right. That's what I thought lmao. Some people think so. I don't really. So...if thats how youre conversations are doomed to be with someone, why bother? Why put yourself through that? LOL. Anyway....i dont care that much. I really really dont. And people can believe me or not believe me. I'm fine with that. lol. Yes. There is in fact a band. A band of aimez on keyboards...jay on guitar....gab on drums....and me singing. Its an awesome band and is in fact gonna kick tom and rizzi's "monkey band" because....they are not awesome and i am in fact insulted that chris and tom did not wanna be in a band with me. Anyway....i've been writing a lot of angry music lately, and not sleeping. i'm really tired. Like.....reeeeeally tired.

Any moment. Everything can change.

Alright. It feels like I haven't posted in awhile. Maybe I have. I don't really know. I'll check later. I almost feel like a puppy lately. I can never tell how much time has passed or how much I have left. It's nauseating. Anyway, I have c/a homework to do on Buddy Holly, and I'm actually in the mood to watch La Bamba, but w/e. I feel better lately. Friday feels like it was a hundred years ago. But I know I'm not imagning things and I know I'm not crazy. I just got home from my brother's baseball practice and you know what? I talked to a very nice old man there who somehow in god's name knew what I am going through and had some vague idea of what I was talking about. Which is really strange. But he was nice. Somethings in life you're just better off without. Cigarettes are one of them. MY LOVE MY LOVE I thought I picked you from a crowd, but now, you're nothing I can't live without......"Half The Girl"